Games Workshop continues to attract new players to their gritty, futuristic, sci-fi, tabletop war game Warhammer 40,000. A bit of a mouthful for sure, but if you’ve ever played a game, painted a miniature, or immersed yourself in the rich lore, you’ll know how fitting that description is.
Warhammer is a great hobby to get into — there's something for everyone. Painting fills a creative void that many of us didn’t know we had; playing tests our mental agility by challenging our strategic thinking and math; literacy is improved with the rich lore found in the novels set in the Warhammer 40,000 universe. Most importantly, it encourages us to step away from the screen and meet people, building friendships and community.
6/6 Too Much Plastic
The old adage among Warhammer players, that “You’re not a true fan unless you own a pile of shame”, is considered a badge of honor for many. For others, it's an embarrassment, And for some, a guilty secret best kept from their significant others.
Let’s be clear, our piles of shame don’t happen overnight; it takes years of careful cultivation to achieve our magnum opus. We throw caution to the wind and buy every miniature with the best of intentions, only for them to join their brethren deep within the catacombs of your hobby desk.
5/6 It Doesn’t Look Like The Box Art
Painting is a huge part of our hobby. We all want our tiny soldiers to look their best on the battlefield. You can smell the anticipation as you line your men up. You’ve spent months painstakingly painting each miniature. You’ve followed all the guides you can find and watched your favorite YouTubers. You’ve carefully color-matched your paint and found your finest kolinsky sable paint brushes. You even have the elusive "00000" to dot the eyes. So why does your opponent’s army look 1000 times better than yours? And why, despite your best efforts, do your troops not look like the box art?
Any long-time painter will tell you, it takes time and patience to become a great miniature painter. Even then, the chances are you’ll fall foul of the box art. We forget that the guides teach newbies to the hobby to paint to a “Battle Ready” standard with a higher “Parade Ready” reserved for the important characters. If we only follow the official guides, we limit ourselves and our abilities. We need to push through the veil and find our own path. The Eavy Metal standard found within White Dwarf and adorning the boxes on the shelf is not the only way.
4/6 Paint, Paint, And More Paint
Paint is an essential part of the hobby. Without it, our tiny plastic men have the monotone grey (or red, blue, green) of the injection molded plastic. Games Workshop has an excellent paint range, giving plenty of tonal coverage, with names like Kantor Blue and Mephiston Red making it easy to find the right colors for your armies. Games Workshop only sell its own branded Citadel paints and is, therefore, the go-to for newcomers and purists the world over
Many painters start with Citadel paint because it is sold next to the models and kits they buy, often assuming there isn’t any other option. The truth is, you can use any paint on your miniatures, with acrylic paint as the most popular type. Take a step outside your comfort zone and experience the "ah-ha!" moment when discovering the choices offered by other hobby brands such as Vallejo, The Army Painter, and Privateer Press, for the first time. You won’t be sorry.
3/6 The Space Marine Army
There’s a trope that every Warhammer 40, 0000 player owns a Space Marine army. It’s true for most hobbyists. It’s usually Ultramarines, the poster child for humanity in Games Workshop’s grim-dark future universe. There’s a good reason for this. Since the launch of Warhammer 40,000 2nd Edition, way back in 1993, the game has come in a starter set featuring two factions. The Space Marines, in one guise or another, have always been one-half of the miniatures included, with the other dutifully fulfilled by another enemy faction.
Painting your Space Marines as Ultramarines has long been a popular choice, mainly down to them being the poster child, but there are plenty of other Chapters out there. Diving deep into the lore isn’t necessary, but if you do, there are some doozies for sure. The Rainbow Warriors, Blood Ravens, and Tome Keepers are some of our non-core favorites. Players have always created their own, with Games Workshop encouraging creativity. They’ve even printed guides in White Dwarf showing you how to and have said, “It is said that there are one thousand chapters of space marines, and that each of those chapters consists of one thousand loyal battle brothers...” Good news for the fan that wants more.
2/6 We’ve All Seen ‘That Guy’
.jpg?q=50&fit=crop&w=740&dpr=1.5)
It may be in our local club, or perhaps even at an event or tournament, but we’ve all seen "that guy". You know who I’m talking about. The guy who "knows" all the rules, except they don’t. They twist them to their advantage and without an experienced referee, their cheating would prevail.
With a leveled playing field their true nature is seen. Rage builds as each die roll goes in their opponents' favor, culminating in a cataclysmic eruption. Metaphorical steam escapes from their ears, and if we’re (un?)lucky, we witness the explosive rage in all its expletive-laden glory. Thankfully, those around him stop him before he destroys the gaming table and its contents. Collecting his army, he is escorted out of the building shouting obscenities to those around and cursing the organizers as he is handed a lifetime ban. Don’t be "that guy".
1/6 Pray To The Dice Gods
There comes a point in every game where we utter a small prayer to the gods, in the hopes they hear and grant us the impossible. It’s that “Bottom of the ninth, the bases are loaded, and you’re up to bat” feeling. The penalty shoot-out where the keeper needs to make a save. The desperate three-point shot made in the dying seconds of the game, with nothing but hang time between you and victory. You get the point.
We’re not immune to this. We all have our good luck rituals; some kiss their dice as they roll, others whisper prayers into cupped hands for sixes on a saving roll, and we most certainly hope our weapons don’t malfunction when we roll a one. Sometimes the dice gods listen. More often than not, they don’t. We begrudgingly remove our champions from the table, secretly cursing them, willing them to victory next time.
